April 20, 2013

Is It True? - Vol. 3 (Hotel Hijinks Edition)

This round of Is It True? involves some serious hotel hijinks. Something really crazy happened to me while staying in a hotel during a trip to see a major sporting event. But only one of the two stories below is real. Can you tell which one is true?

#1 Where No Introvert Has Gone Before

Back in the early 90s, I was staying in a hotel in the Tampa-St. Petersburg area on a short trip to see a Tampa Bay Buccaneers game. It was a big hotel with ample conference and convention facilities.I wasn’t particularly tired the night before the game, so I decided to wander down to the lobby area and have a drink in the bar. I don’t remember exactly what floor my room was on, but it was a tall hotel and I was somewhere near the top.

I took the elevator, and as it made several stops on the way down, something unusual started happening. Various characters from Star Trek were getting on the elevator. No, not the real actors. These were hardcore Star Trek fans. You see, unbeknownst to me at the time the reservation was made, I happened to be staying in the same hotel that was hosting a big Star Trek fan convention that weekend.

I was never much of a Star Trek fan and generally don’t like science fiction at all. So for me, it was quite humorous to see people taking their fandom so seriously. I had to bite my tongue and not laugh out loud.

By the time the elevator was close to the lobby, it was quite obvious that I was the only person in the elevator not wearing Star Trek garb. One person finally said something like, “Dude, where’s your costume?”Thinking quickly for a comedic response, I said, “The airline lost my luggage.” Someone else asked what my costume was going to be. I blurted out, “Spock.” Then several of the people told me I should still come to the party and even offered to buy me a drink to drown out my sorrow.

Normally my introverted instincts would have led me to cut off the conversation right there and dart away from this crowd as soon as we got to the lobby. But I took a chance and went for it.Yes, indeed. I was the one un-costumed (and unregistered) attendee at a party for Star Trek aficionados. I only stuck around long enough to have two drinks and was highly uncomfortable trying to make small talk on a subject I neither knew very well nor liked. But it made for quite a funny story to tell at the football game the next day.

So is it true? (Or highly illogical?) Did I really crash a party of Trekkies?

#2 Elevator Escapade

Back in the early 90s, I was staying at a hotel in Atlanta on a short trip to see a couple of Atlanta Braves games. This hotel was undergoing a major renovation a few years in advance in the 1996 Summer Olympics. And frankly, the hotel should have closed during the construction because the facility was atrocious.

Most of the lobby was cordoned off for construction, and only one dilapidated elevator was functioning for the entire hotel. This elevator was extremely slow, and when the doors closed, it always made a loud slamming sound. During my stay, many other guests and I grumbled about how awful this place was while standing and waiting for the one elevator to arrive.

One evening I walked back into the lobby and was heading toward the lone elevator. Another guest was in the elevator and saw me coming as the doors started to close. Like most people (hopefully) would do in this situation, he reached out to stop the elevator doors from closing so I could get in.

This is when things got interesting. You see, he must have gone out to get some dinner for his family because in his arms were a couple of pizzas and two big plastic bottles of Coke. When he tried to stop the elevator doors from closing, he haphazardly attempted to balance the pizzas and one bottle in one hand and arm while holding the other bottle in his other hand. He used that other hand, the one with the bottle in it, to block the elevator doors.

Remember what I said earlier about the elevator doors slamming shut? That’s exactly what happened, except they slammed right on his plastic Coke bottle and then opened back up. Somehow the force of the elevator doors was strong enough to burst the bottle. So all of a sudden Coke started spraying all over the place!I was stunned and stood right there outside the elevator (and even backed up a little bit so I wouldn't get sprayed) as this poor man was trying to corral his spraying Coke bottle while trying not drop the pizzas and the other bottle.Maybe he did drop the pizzas. I don't remember.

Before I could even think of trying to help him, the elevator doors closed, and off he went.I pressed the button, and when the elevator finally came back, the doors opened, and nobody was inside. But the walls and floor were soaked with Coke. I don’t know who he was, but I owe Elevator Guy an apology.

So, is it true? Did I really stand there while someone who was politely trying to hold the elevator ended up getting splattered with Coke?Only one of the these stories is true, and it’s up to you to figure out which one.

No comments :

Post a Comment