March 20, 2015

7 Quick Takes - Vol. 113 (Seersucker season, warehouse security, bathroom humor and more)

ONE: Why do warehouse stores even bother putting your picture on their ID cards? Check this out. The one on the left is from my Costco card, and the one on the right is from my Sam's Club card.


The Costco photo looks like it was printed on a dot matrix printer. The Sam's Club picture looks like it was taken in one of those crazy photo booths that distorts images to be funny. And I'm not sure where that shadow came from on the Sam's photo, but it looks like a big sweat stain below my collar. I'm glad Costco and Sam's Club aren't in charge of homeland security.

TWO: Now, a little bathroom humor. I saw this sign in a restaurant men's room hanging directly above the urinal.


The stall in the bathroom was occupied, so I couldn't peek and see if they had a No. 2 sign above the toilet.

THREE: I got a good laugh when my alma mater sent this email inviting me to a Jewish Alumni Association party.


I'm Catholic, but I have a Jewish-sounding last name. I suppose someone looked through the alumni list and picked out names that sounded like they might be interested in this event.

FOUR: It's not a good idea to jump to conclusions about a person's name. Yesterday we received an early Easter gift: treats shipped from Hoffman's Chocolates, a well-known store where I grew up in South Florida. It reminded me that when I was in elementary school I had a classmate with the last name Hoffman. So one say in school I asked her if her dad owned Hoffman's Chocolates. She replied, "I don't have a dad." Oops!

FIVE: It's always amusing to peruse some of the comments that are snagged in my blog's spam filter. Here's a funny one from the other day:

"whoah this weblog is wonderful i like studying your posts. Stay up the great work! You already know, many people are hunting round for this info, you could aid them greatly."

SIX: As I was about to toss a Land's End catalog into the recycle bin, this photo caught my attention. Easter is apparently a time to honor the death and resurrection of Christ by slapping on a seersucker coat, checkered shirt, polka dot bow tie and balancing a croquet mallet on your finger.


SEVEN: My eight-yer-old daughter is a discriminating fruit eater. When I offered her some blueberries the other day, she said, "I don't like blueberries unless they're exactly the right size and taste exactly right."

EPILOGUE: For more Quick Takes, visit This Ain't The Lyceum.


No comments :

Post a Comment